Thursday, June 5, 2008

Must be modeled after my house...

I bought Addison a "trial" dollhouse. You see, I've been wanting to get her a dollhouse for a really long time, since around Christmas, but I was never sure if she really would play with it or not. Until around New Years, when I had to go for one of those lovely gyno checkups. K, actually, let me preface with how truly horrible this appointment was. I decided to try a new doctor. I have two doctors that I see. One, who delivered Addison is amazing. I adore him. He's Canadian. But he is also very busy, and in my head, I can't justify going over to see him for a checkup, when he is dealing with delivering babies and c-sections and whatever else goes on over there. So he was out.

Then, I have my family doctor, who I love as well. He is very good with Addison, and is always super quick to get me in when I have the sniffles, or Justin has yet another sinus infection, or when Addison is under the weather. Problem is, he's also my bishop. And really, as much as I respect him as a doctor, I don't want to know him that well. I would never be able to look him in the eye at church if he was also my gyno. Ick. There is already someone at church who is a radiologist tech and had to assist me during a very embarrassing MRI, but that is a story for another day.

ANYhow, I decided to try one of my friend's doctors that she raved about. In fact, he was just down the street from me, so it was tres convenient as well. So I left early for my appointment, where I realized I was like, an hour early because I'd written the time down wrong. No prob, I decided to take Addison to McDonald's for some chicken nuggets to kill the time. Of course, she pooped there. So I changed her, pleased that she would be fresh as a daisy at the doctor's. When we finally gathered up our stuff and headed back to the doctor's office, I was late OF COURSE. The universe hates it when I am on time. So we shuffle in there, and I realize I've forgotten my insurance card, so I call Justin in one of those grouchy panic modes where I just hate everyone I talk to. I bully the number out of him, but the receptionist wants to see the card, so I promise her I'll fax it to her. I do not own a fax.

So we take a seat to wait, and there is a dollhouse (see? See? this is going somewhere!) and Addison was enthralled. She played with it during our whole half hour wait! Until the fateful moment that her face started going red, and I realized we had used the last diaper at McDonald's. And for some reason (again, blaming the universe here.) it was the stink-stankiest diaper of ALL TIME. And we were in a very small waiting room, and it was so very, very conspicuous. When the nurse called us in I could see her little nose wrinkle in disgust. She took me into a room to do diagnostics, and Addison was SCREAMING because she wanted "dollies". Finally the nurse said, "Do you want to change her before you meet with the doctor?" Can I just say PURE EMBARRASSMENT? I mumbled something about how I left her diaper bag in the car (lie) and didn't want to make the doc wait (lie). So the nurse says "Well, I might have a diaper." Wow. So it's that bad that she is willing to find one for me. She brings me back a diaper that has not seen the light of day since 1989 and is four times the size of Addison herself. But I am in NO position to decline, so I take the diaper and she lets me use an exam room to change her. When I am finally done, my pride gone out the window completely, she comes back with a plastic bag to dispose of it in, that very fittingly has the words TOXIC WASTE written across it.

The good thing about losing all of your pride before a gyno appointment is that you don't have an ounce left when he comes at you with his speculum. Addison was deservedly traumatized by seeing her mother being violated by a strange man in scrubs and screamed the entire time. In fact, at one time we decided it would be a good idea to let her sit on the table with me, which made her even more horrified. At this time, I promised her profusely that I would buy her a dolly when we left.

So, last Saturday I bought her a trial one. Trial means very small, very inexpensive. It also means I have tiny chairs laying around for me to step on at any given moment. On the bright side, Addison loves it. On the down side, I think I should be mildly offended by the way she's chosen to decorate it. On the outside, it looks bright and cheerful and neat, much like my own house.

On the inside, another story.

Notice that the fridge is in the living room. the kitchen is a mess due to a fallen lamp. The bathtub is outside, and the mommy bear is upstairs asleep in her bed. Apparently kids notice more than we think that she does.

So, now that I know Addison loves her dollhouse, I am going to take the plunge and buy her a nice one. If anyone has any suggestions for one that they love, I am open to it. Just please please, no spiky tiny chairs.

And next time I have to go to the gyno and subject her to being scarred for life, remind me not to promise her a kitty or a car or something.


Morgan and Derek said...

Jae- thanks for the laugh. I'm sure it wasn't funny for YOU but it was for me, so thanks. :)

Manda said...

I totally suck a commenting, but I read your blog faithfully every day, you always crack me up. And just ditto to morgan, lol.

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