Friday, February 19, 2010

Friday Confessional

I keep thinking of good confessionals while I'm out and about, and then I realize that they are all about things that other people do that bug me. For instance, saying "That's funny" when you don't laugh. IF IT'S FUNNY, YOU SHOULD BE LAUGHING. Liar.

-I am really funny about the way our house smells. When I was growing up, I had a friend's whose house smelled very distinctively, to the point where you could smell it on your clothes after getting home. I always wonder if my house has a smell. Weird, right?
-While I am very sarcastic and cynical with my family and friends, I am a ray of sunshine to strangers. I wonder if it should be the other way around.
-I secretly love crappy music from the 80s. Pop Goes the World? I Ran? Safety Dance? She Drives Me Crazy? They don't make music like that any more. Probably because it was terrible, but so very good at the same time.
-I have a shoe-a-day calendar on my desk and nothing makes me happier than changing the day to see a new shoe. The other day there was a red shoe from 1890 and I was so touched by it. Like, I hope that if I lived in 1890, that I had the spunk to wear red shoes under my petticoats.
-I buy books for Addison that are really for me. For instance, her last Scholastic catalog had The Stinky Cheese Man and Other Fairly Stupid Tales, and you better believe I bought it. It is way too old for her, but I read it to her and laugh to myself anyway.
-Speaking of books, I think it's a good time to go to the bookstore and read the titles of harlequin romances. THEY ARE HILARIOUS. I also have an Audible.com account, and got a free book one time and me and my sister in law were listening to it until we realized how very dirty it was. That was pretty embarrassing. It also made me feel very sad for the lonely, lonely ladies that read it.
-I buy hand lotion all of the time and never use it. I never think to! So I have roughly 700 bottles of unopened hand lotion in my house. It always seems like a good idea at the time...
-I watched "The Business of Being Born" the other night while Andrew was up sick. I know it was meant to make me want to have a home birth, but all it did was solidify my feelings that I never want to go through pregnancy and childbirth ever. Again. So for that, I thank Ricki Lake and her lack of modesty.

2 comments:

Morgan -Ing said...

I always wonder if my house smells too. Not in a bad way I hope, but just in a "this is Morgan's house" smell.

Sheriece said...

Grandma D's house always used to have a very distinctive smell, and I always wondered the same thing. Most of the time my house smells like Downy because my washer is hardly ever stopped. By the way, Shane's favorite smells are crayons and the inside of a freezer. How strange is that?

Oh my word, I cannot believe you made me remember that terrible book. Seriously, about half an hour into it I'd had enough! Scary.

Aaaaand now I want a calendar with shoes on it.

 
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