Friday, April 4, 2008

Back by Popular Demand...

Hi Everyone!

Weeeelll, everyone and anyone is doing the blog thing, which I used to do while I was pregnant, but fell off the wagon once I actually had Addison and therefore, not as much to complain about in lengthy blogs. BUT!! Luckily, for the general public, I have found that there is so much more to complain about than just pregnancy, so I am back. Here you shall read about our dysfunctional little family - the good, the bad and the ugly.


Parenting tips: Want to learn the best ways to screw up your kid? Read along with me as I ignore all proven parenting techniques and make up my own, including but not limited to - Letting Your Daughter Drink 32 oz of Sprite at 9pm and Then Getting Mad When She Won't Go to Sleep, and Letting Your Child Overhear You Say Shut-Up and then Trying Not to Laugh When She Yells it at Someone in the Grocery Store.

Marriage Advice: Lets face it, marriage is hard work. Make it easier on yourself by modeling it after mine. Much like "The Couple Who Should Be Divorced," (See: Here) we can teach you things like: Arguing Over Laundry and Passive-Aggressiveness: When to Use it To Your Full Advantage to get What You Want.

Finally, Musings on Life From Jacqueline. As a well-adjusted member of society, you can hear things from me like: Why Do Fat People Complain About Being Fat and Never Go to the Gym? and The Grocery Store: Is It REALLY Necessary to Place Fruit Snacks and Candy at the Exact Level Where My Daughter Can Grab it and Place it in the Cart, Then Wail Inconsolably for Ten Minutes After I Put it Back, Until I Get Tired of the Dirty Looks From People in the Store and Give It To Her Anyways?

Don't worry, there will be plenty of these nuggets of wisdom to come, as I document the life and times of my modern, untraditional and overall dysfunctional family for your enjoyment, judgement, and basically, to make yourself feel better about your own, much like I feel when I watch TLC's Jon and Kate Plus Eight.


Kisses! Jacqueline, Justin and Addison


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