Monday, February 9, 2009

Jae's Anatomy: Week Six - On Beeping Machinery and Moms

I typed out "6" and it didn't look right... so I typed out "six" and it STILL didn't look right so I just realized it was the actual idea that I am in my sixth week here that doesn't look right. A sweet, elderly couple comes around every Sunday and gives a little spiritual thought (Quick reminder here, I live in Utah and EVERYONE IS MORMON.) and they have inadvertently given me the same thought four weeks in a row. They just aren't used to people being here this long so they usually recycle them. On the bright side though, I have four little slips of paper with the exact same inspirational quote on them tucked away in my table. So... if anyone needs a pick me up, I've got some.

I am trying to ignore the beeping leg cuff compression boots that they make me wear. I went a whole week without wearing them last week and lied to the nurse every time she asked if I had "tingling, numbness or tight calves". Um, yes, all of the above but if I tell them that, they make me wear the boots. Instead, Justin made me put them on, and he puts them OVER my pantleg, just to bother me, because he knows I think it makes me look like a Clydesdale with my pantlegs stuck to me until they flare out ridiculously below the cuff near my ankle. Anyhow, the machine is beeping, and when you ignore it, it progressively gets higher and higher pitched. I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT WANTS. We let Addison turn it on, so there's a good chance she's done something to it.

So, this is my last week at the hospital. I am desperately trying to think of it as a little vacation, because how many moms get to take a week where everyone brings them meals and lets them nap on demand before a baby comes and turns their lives upside down? Only problem is that the meals are the same every Tuesday and the naps never quite materialize; either I feel way too guilty (I've taken to napping with a book in front of me, so that if the door opens I can flutter my eyes open and act like I've been reading because HEAVEN FORBID I have a nap while I have nothing else to do, it just makes me feel bad that the nurses are hard at work while I lounge about in my bed.) or the cleaning lady comes in and mops around my bed, banging it occasionally for good measure... probably because I am lounging about in my bed while she has to work. Do you SEE the vicious cycle? So it might not be the "vacation" I mean for it to be, it's hard to enjoy the time off when the biggest accomplishment of my day is playing (and SOLVING!) a stupid mystery game that has literally been my saving grace of being here.

But never fear. For starters, I found an EVEN HARDER version of it to play this week. And my mom gets here tomorrow to relieve some of the boredom and take Addison to the dinosaur museum, which she inexplicably loves. Gigi arrives at 2:30 in the afternoon, after which I plan to make her my errand-girl, as she is coming over to a very empty fridge and a super frazzled daughter. Who still isn't ready for this baby to come home, despite her "claims" that she is "tired" of being in the "hospital". And her need for "unnecessary quotes."

But I'd better go. I took my pill early because, lets face it, there's not much point in hanging around for all hours of the night and I'm on VACATION, right? I can take drugs and pass out whenever I am good and ready to. Plus, if I stay on much longer my ability to press one key at a time will be in grave jeopardy, and I'll start saying strange things, like when I texted my husband and asked him if he was watching football commentary at 12:30 at night. I actually had the presence of mind to text the word "commentary", yet not know why I would be asking him about it. Impressive.



Morgan and Derek said...

Jae! Can I come see you? Just a quick stop on Friday? We're driving up to my parents' and I want to bring you a twix bar. :)

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