Thursday, July 31, 2008

What Kind Of Mom Are You?

I hear this question a lot. Not just towards me, but to alot of moms in general. What kind of mom are you? Usually said in accusatory tone, it's meant to belittle a mother, usually in the wake of something their child has done, ie: dumped a whole bag of cookies on the floor of the grocery store, stuck her lollipop on some lady's skirt. Or, after we've done something that someone doesn't agree with. ie: bribed our kid, gave into demands for ice cream etc.

Let's get it straight then. This is the kind of mom I am.

I like independent parenting. This means that I strive to do what I can to make Addison an individual. I encourage her to spend time independently, learning about what she likes and dislikes, and respecting this. I cannot do attachment parenting.

I cry-it-out. GASP! I KNOW! WORST MOM EVER!! Crying it out is when in certain situations, you let your child work it out on their own, rather than soothing them. When they are teeny babies, fine, go get them when they cry. But after a year, they are old enough to calm themselves down. In turn, I end up with an easier baby who doesn't need me every 5 seconds.

While I do believe in breast feeding, I also really don't care if I have to bottle feed as well. Addison only nursed for 3 months. It was a good run, but when she was DONE she was DONE. I don't believe in beating yourself up over it. E for Effort, move along.

I am not a nurse-in-public girl. I never will be. I KNOW it's just a matter of eating and I KNOW we bottle feed in public and all of that business, but I don't care. A bottle is still a bottle, a boob is still a boob. Blame society, not me.

I am not the mom who does flash cards with her kid. Our learning takes place doing every day activities: at the store, driving around, at the park or doing things around the house. I'm a mom, not a drill sergeant.

I am a working mother. Luckily, I am able to work out of my home office. Would it be easier to be a mom if I didn't work? Oh, heck yeah. But there are other things that come into play here. My wanting to keep my skills sharp, wanting to keep a foot in the corporate world, having something to contribute to our family. Whereas my job stresses me out, particularly on the days when I'd rather just play with Addison, I remember that I tried being a regular stay at home mom, and it was hard on me. I understand the value of a stay at home mom, but I understand the value of a career too, which is why I make the effort to balance both.

And finally, I am a dance around the house, sing Beauty and the Beast at the top of my lungs, monster playing, hide and seek facilitating, junk food encouraging, Play-Doh designing, story telling, picture drawing kind of mom. I do my best with what I have. It may not be what someone else would picture as ideal, but it works for us.

Addison is just waking up now. If you asked her what kind of mom I was, she'd probably say "Happy face!"

Which obviously is translated as: Coolest. Mom. Ever.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

You are the kind of mom I want to be! Sorry if I am creeping you out blog stalking, but that is the risk you run when you advertise yourself on BBC!

Congrats on being preggers!
Beth

Jae said...

Aw thanks Beth! Creep away! lol

Carissa said...

You are too cute! I swear you come up with the funniest things ever! Congratulations on #2! I bet Addison is so excited! I added your blog to mine so I can check in once in a while!

 
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