So it's been pretty quiet around here, medically speaking, and I didn't update much. Even the hospital seems quieter; two of the girls next to me had babies this week, and I was so jealous. I've already got a new next door neighbour and she too, loves to shower late at night. WHAT HAPPENED TO SHOWERING IN THE MORNING? I hate to wake up and then just sit in my bed. I have to get up and get ready like I'm starting a real day. Otherwise I'd just sleep the entire time I'm in here, and I must be productive!!
I just got back from an ultrasound, and the tech was just saying how easily I seem to take everything. I wanted to laugh heartily at her. This week I had at least two mental breakdowns, one of which lasted easily five hours. And three... count them, THREE boxes of Kleenex. But when I am in ultrasounds, I do just fine.
Everything is good to a miracle-like degree. Sometimes I feel like the term miracle, or miracle baby is used really often. Like EVERYONE has a miracle baby. Truth is, only something like 40% of real conceptions end up in live births, so the fact that anyone is born is kind of a miracle. But I really do feel like things have happened with this baby that have baffled the medical community here and how else do you attribute them? I think of any other mom who was handed down an acardiac twin diagnosis and was faced with the bleak, bleak circumstances surrounding it, and how I got to be the one who defied odds.When diagnosed, we were warned not to get our hopes up for a live birth of EITHER baby, due to their umbilical cords and unique "living" situation. And here we sit, nearly a week away from delivery, and still doctors are shaking their heads and shrugging when they hear about our case - there is no way we should have been able to weather this without medical intervention. In the end, Justin and I can't help but wonder what our kids are destined for; both for our two living children, and our one son who won't make it... its gotta be something big. You have to figure that everything is part of a grander plan that I can't wrap my head around.
So, new stats are that my fluid is down to not only normal, but normal NORMAL standards at 15 cm. That's half of what it was two weeks ago, and I can really feel the difference. I'm nowhere near as uncomfortable as I was when I was first admitted. He is still head down, which means we're still a go for a normal delivery. I'm still contracting away, but now I am just hoping that the constant contractions will help when I'm induced to move things along. I hate that I have to be induced, I really hoped that I could just let things happen with this baby, but beggars can't be choosers.
A little over a week left! Ten days to be exact. Addison has been the world's biggest trooper through this whole thing, and I'm glad she's so adaptable. Throw her into any situation, and she thrives. She's been the antepartum wards resident clown and the nurses love spoiling her. My favourite nurse in particular routinely stashes cookies around the room and brings Addison fresh blankets out of the warmer when she stays overnight, and there is no shortage of chocolate milk around here.
The other night I had a fun nurse who I really liked, who is probably about my age, maybe just a bit older. She came into check my vitals well Addison, Justin and I were just hanging out. As usual, Addison introduced herself; "Hi, my name's Addison." As well as pointing out, "This is mommy. This is daddy!" The nurse smiled and said "Oh, what a pretty name." At which point Addison's eyes narrowed and she said, "Don't take my daddy." I don't know WHY, but Addison is sure all nurses are only there to take things from her. So everyday we hear warnings not to take her computer, cookie, lotion, shirt, whatever. But it was the first time that she was worried about the nurse taking Daddy. We all started laughing and I was like, "I wonder what you must think of us, when Addison is afraid strange women are going to take her Daddy away... Justin! What have you been up to while I've been gone??" And you all thought he was sooooo innocent.
So, that's us for now. Ten more days and we are out of here, and will know finally what kind of condition our baby is in. Fingers crossed for us, k?
The freedom of not knowing.
4 years ago
4 comments:
Wow, ten days. I'm sure the time has NOT gone fast for you at all, but still, WOW, you're almost done being pregnant! That's great. Hang in there. :)
Good luck with everything. Sending prayers your way!!
I follow your other blog and pop in here routinely to see how you are doing. I will be praying for you and the delivery. In particular that the doctors will have supernatural knowledge to handle any situations that could arise as well as for nurses with a wonderful bedside manner!
Jae, you don't know me, and I haven't left a message on your blog before, although I love reading all about your little family. I found your personal blog from reading your fashion blog, which I love and check often! I wanted you to know how I am inspired by your life, encouraged by your courage, and find hope in the miracle of your childrens' lives. May you and your family be given each and every blessing that you so richly deserve.
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