Thursday, July 30, 2009

Why you should never come to my house unannounced:

...or let me forget that you were coming over. Which is what I did in this case. K I HAVE A LOT GOING ON!

The other day, I had finished my work around 11 am and wandered downstairs to find that our dear goldfish, Max and Ruby, had died as a result of Addison feeding them an entire container of food without me noticing. They were totally belly up, floating. Addison wanted to know what was going on, so I explained to her that Max and Ruby got sick and died. After letting her know that no, we could not bring them to the doctor's office, I called Justin. He is the one who has to take care of dead animals, not me. Seeing as there was nothing I could do then, I left them floating in their fish bowl while I went to work out.

After working out, I took the kids downstairs for lunch. Addison requested macaroni, so I made some up. I was still in my workout clothes, yoga pants and a sports bra, while I made food and then got Addison settled so I could go take a shower. It was a cleaning day so the house was TRASHED after the weekend, so after a shower, I was going to clean up, I promise.

All of a sudden, I heard the gravel noise I can hear when someone pulls into our driveway. CRAP! I peeked out the door and saw one of my neighbors getting of her car.

Now, I'm going to honest. My first instinct was to run and hide. We were sitting at the breakfast bar, my house was a mess, I wasn't wearing A SHIRT and I had dead fish floating around in my living room. So I grabbed Addison and shoved her into the guest room, running in after her.

Which was when I remembered I'd left Andrew in his seat on the counter. Which is clearly viewable from the front door window. There was no way to run out there and grab him without running into her because our breakfast bar conveniently faces the front door. So I abandoned the hiding plan and ran into the laundry room. SUCCESS! Justin had just done a load of laundry and there was a shirt in there for me! I yanked it on, before running to answer the door. Addison was in a shirt and underwear. Andrew was just in a diaper.

I let my poor neighbor in for a chat, but first I had to point out that yes, my fish were dead, but I had just barely discovered them dead and hadn't figured out what to do yet, and I don't generally make it a habit to accessorize my home with dead animals.

Addison then popped out of the guest room and said "Mama! Why you put me in that room?" And I was like "What? Oh, you're so silly Addison." Trying to make it seem like I DON'T lock my daughter in rooms on a regular basis.

So lesson to everyone ever to ever want to come to my house. CALL. FIRST.

If I know I don't have anything important to do in a day, I WON'T get dressed. I won't dress my kids. I won't clean my house, and I'll leave my dead fish on the coffee table.

If you DO call before, I'll make sure my children look like Sears Ads, I will at the VERY least have a shirt on, the house will sparkle, and any dead fish will have already been sent on their way to porcelain heaven.

Which is infinitely more pleasant than having to stare at them while we talk summer plans.



Sheriece said...

JACQUELINE! I haven't laughed so hard in a very very very long time. I feel EXACTLY the same way. If you don't want to see a living room full of spare computer parts, monitors, bath towels, dirty clothes, toys, and all the baby wipes yoinked out of the container and strewn on the floor, don't come over unnanounced!

PS, the best part is when the home teachers or the bishop knock and you're wearing a big t-shirt but no bra.

Chavah Kinloch said...

LOL. I hear that!

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